Here’s a fun family challenge for this year’s Thanksgiving gatherings. Ask all your relatives to explain what crime Donald Trump was found guilty of committing in Judge Juan Merchan’s courtroom earlier this year. No one can even explain it to this day!
This was the Stormy Daniels “hush money” case, but making hush money payments isn’t a crime. People make these payments all the time.
That no longer matters, though. Judge Juan Merchan indefinitely suspended the sentencing of Donald Trump, which was scheduled for November 26th. This means that Donald Trump is not and never will be a “convicted felon.”
Judge Merchan also granted Trump’s motion to have his conviction permanently dismissed. This would be a good time for everyone in the media who has referred to Donald Trump as a “convicted felon” to speak to an attorney. How many times have the hacks at CNN and MSNBC referred to Trump as a convicted felon? We’ve lost track, but that’s a serious defamation crime, especially now that Trump will never be sentenced in this fake hush money trial.
Let’s recap this hush money thing so that you can dazzle your Thanksgiving guests with some facts they’ve never heard reported in the media, shall we?
In 2006, Donald Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen allegedly started having a sexual affair with porn “actress” Stormy Daniels. Cohen was married at the time. At one point, Cohen got his mistress close enough to Donald Trump to take one picture with him—as Trump has done with tens of thousands of his adoring fans. Trump had no idea who she was.
Between about 2006 and 2012, the “Creepy Porn Lawyer” Michael Avenatti was bragging to anyone who would listen to him that he was running Stormy Daniels as her pimp. He told people he planned to use Stormy to extort money from the Trump organization because he had her sleeping with Michael Cohen. The Creepy Porn Lawyer openly boasted about this plan in public.
Fast-forward to the 2016 election. Creepy Porn Lawyer and Stormy threatened to expose the affair to Michael Cohen’s wife. They also threatened to make false claims during a presidential election that Donald Trump had sex with Stormy Daniels unless Cohen could secure a payout for them from the Republican nominee for president. (Some skeptics might think of this as “extortion.”)
Cohen panicked. He took out a reverse mortgage on his home and gave $130,000 to the Creepy Porn Lawyer. Cohen never mentioned this to his client, who he was trying to protect. Instead, Cohen waited until after the 2016 election and then billed the Trump Organization $130,000 (in 34 separate installments) for “legal services.” By that point, Trump was serving as America’s greatest president and had divested himself from running the Trump Organization. He had no idea that those 34 payments were made to Cohen and didn’t sign the checks.
As for the “affair” between Trump and Stormy Daniels—it never happened. Anytime Stormy Daniels has been placed on the witness stand to testify against Trump in her attempts to sue him, she has admitted that she never had sex with him. It would be perjury for her to claim that she had sex with him if she were to state it under oath.
It’s only when Stormy appears on TV comedy shows with people like Jimmy Kimmel or Anderson Cooper that she makes up a story about Donald Trump’s silk underpants and body parts. She can’t go to jail if she lies and says she had sex with Trump on those shows, so she tells a completely different made-up story in that setting.
Trump never even knew who this broad was. He never knew that his idiot lawyer had an affair with her, or that Cohen had reverse mortgaged his house and then billed the Trump Organization to pay himself back.
As the “crime” was explained to the jury, Donald Trump made payments to his lawyer and listed them as “legal services” in the Trump Organization’s books. And that’s how Trump stole the 2016 election. Yeah. It was a nuttier story than the Russian potty dossier.
The liberal Manhattan jury bought it and found Trump guilty of 34 counts of… whatever that supposed crime was. Oh, well. It doesn’t matter now. Merchan has indefinitely suspended Trump’s sentence and he will never be a “convicted felon.” Case closed.
